OK, we’ve all seen them at least once. You know, you’re driving behind a big truck or a motorcycle and there they are, dangling from the rear fender. A giant set of…danglies, berries, stones, knackers, bollocks, teabags, family jewels, gnads, nuts, testicles -you know…balls! I don’t know what it is but this particular subject has reduced me into a 12 year old boy (much like when I watch Jackass).
“You know, Dr. Evil, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see you’re nuts.”
-Austin Powers, Goldmember
I noticed the impact of this trend fully for the first time last summer when I went to bike week in Laconia, NH. Many of the vendors present had large displays of them in all colors of the rainblow, I mean, rainbow. Most common are chrome, gold, brass, pink and most notably, blue. Are they funny? Sure. And they’re also a whole lotta trashy!
If you haven’t seen these before or are curious to peruse the vast variety of nuts out there, allthenutz.com is the online place for you to start. They’re very serious about their nuts. And I love their videos!
But what makes someone put a set of balls on their motorcycle? What statement are they making with a big set dangling off the back? Is it just be a wise-guy? Is it to show off the power and prowess of their fine, steel machine?
“I’m upper, upper class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
All the social papers say I’ve got the biggest balls of allCHORUS
I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
And they’re such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he’s got big balls,
And she’s got big balls,
But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all…”“Big Balls”-AC/DC
Apparently a lot of women buy these for their vehicles as well. The pink ones are especially hot, although I’ve never seen any of these on a ladies motorcycle (or car for that matter). Whether you like them or not, these things sell like hotcakes and someone somewhere is making serious jingle off of them. I’m glad I don’t have any kids yet that I have to explain these suckers to!
So what do you think? Trashy fun or distasteful humor?
April 16th, 2008 at 9:18 am
hey — i didn’t have a chance to welcome you back from being sick. good to see you writing again. was all worried about you and shit.
anyway — yeah. these ball things are truly gross. i just don’t think they’re appropriate, and the message they send to me is that the owner is a … dick.
i think it would be just as appropriate to make titty dual headlamps for your bike. make’em big with lots o cleavage between.
i’m no prude, but these just make me a little sick. my inner 12 year old giggling boy doesn’t find them as funny as i do jackass or wildboyz or anything…
interested in others’ thoughts too.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Hey Christine-thanks! ‘Tis good to be back in the swing of things.
Yeah, I tend to agree with you, they are gross. My inner 12 yr. old was more amused with coming up with euphemisms for “balls” than the idea of putting one of these on my bike!
April 16th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Sorry ladies, my inner boy thinks it’s pretty funny. (Then again, I’m just a guy. Don’t be hatin’.) I would never put them on my bike and don’t know why someone else would but I still get a chuckle when I see them.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Wow… Titty Dual Headlamps…. hmmmm
April 16th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I horrify my neighbors enough with my loud pipes and all my leather, plus I have 3 young kids. The last thing I need is a big ol’ set of veiny gonads flopping around on the back of my ride.
They are funny to look at - as long as someone else has the courage to display them. I’m not that brave, and I’d never be able to explain it to my mother!
April 16th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Well, after having a dozen or so people (mostly guys) tell me I had “balls” to cross the country solo, I decided that I DID need some. LOL! So I ordered the small keychaing nutz in HOT PINK, of course. Added them to my keychain. The next time someone told me I had balls, I agreed with them and showed them off. froggilady.com
April 16th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I’ve seen some news articles reporting lawmakers in some states are trying to make these illegal, similar to watching porn in your car.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I’m guessing the punk types that would display a set of them on their bikes are the same little boys that grabbed their crotch until they were 15 ( or older) wetted their bed untill they were 17 and don’t have a girlfriend into their late 20s. Not to mention live at home with mommy and she pays his bike insurance bill also. -Crusty
April 16th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Gosh ya’ll. I’m down here the the south where it’s just the redneck way. We got big boys, with big trucks that like to show their big balls! LOL! I probably get my eyes full about once a week. Geee gads! Lady R
April 16th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
You know Crusty, you’ve really got to learn to stop sugar-coating your feelings and let folks know what you REALLY think!
April 17th, 2008 at 1:44 am
I’d put a pair on my bike but they’re in my wife’s purse.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:30 am
I think Lady R is right. It seems to be kind of a redneck thing. Even up here in the north, we have what I would call “rednecks”. They always seem to be the ones hanging these nut-sacks from their pickem-up trucks.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Joker- people who know me say i have mellowed in my old age! You just wait, when one of those young pups comes around wanting to date YOUR daughter. -Crusty
April 18th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Oh, that’s better!
I can post comments now.
I really think they’re very funny. It’s not something I’d do, but they make me smile every time I see them.
April 19th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Totally gross.
Thanks for validating that.
They don’t even call to my 12 yo boy, they make my 12 yo boy go as far into himself as he can and he needs some therapy now.
I miss you Liz!
April 21st, 2008 at 12:31 pm
OK, maybe I’m really out of it, but I’ve never seen these - anywhere. Now that I have, I think there totally gross! I guess if I did see them on the road, I’d assume the driver was a moron. But that’s just me.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Haven’t seen them here around Seattle either. People here are very politically correct……what about the children?…..no fun.
Bikerchickz
April 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 am
The nuts have taken over Oklahoma, too. It must be a redneck thing. Young guys are one thing (childish) but to see a 60 year old man with them on his truck is just gross. What’s he trying to prove?
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